Maturity through Suffering

"But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you." I Peter 5:10

On March 22nd 2011, Pastor John Sathri had shared the verse (I Peter 5:10) with me and my family. Later that night, my 11-year old son read this verse aloud for me and it kept resonating in me since then. Hope arose in my feeble heart and strength filled my aching nerves. There is a newfound joy in knowing that the suffering is not in vain albeit I neither know nor see the full measure of spiritual benefit that I am due to receive. At the same time this verse was shared with me, I was reading "The Hiding Place" by Corrie ten Boom. I believe with all my heart that there certainly is a purpose in all this. Nothing is a happenstance and everything is planned by God! In retrospect, I can vouch for myself that I have matured through my suffering. Here is a brief account of my suffering and how I matured through each episode.

In January 2009, just an hour after I returned from work, I felt a piercing pain in my bladder.  As I paced around my apartment, the pain only magnified. I gulped for air, hoping that the pain would diminish. Along with the pain in my bladder, I noticed that my lower back was palpitating quite obviously. With barely any medical knowledge, I could guess that I either developed a Urinary Tract Infection or was developing one. As the night grew darker, I could hardly walk and my anxious husband wanted to rush me to the Emergency Room but I resisted. We both cried out to our only help and refuge at all times, Jesus Christ. My husband bought me a number of bottles with cranberry juice. Nothing helped. As I emptied my bladder each time, I noticed it was bloody. Late in the night, I knew that it was pretty severe and that I needed some medical help. My husband hurriedly placed calls to the doctors available in our area. None responded. For once, I closed my eyes and praised God in hope that He will definitely send help in time. As I carried that pain and fixed my eyes on Christ's suffering, I rejoiced because my suffering was absolutely nothing before Christ's. Without His suffering and death on the cross, the entire world would still be writhing from sin and shame. Just then, my husband was online with a doctor who wanted to talk to me. As the doctor spoke to me, I sensed the sympathy and the kindness bestowed on me by Jesus through this doctor. I thanked the doctor as he prescribed my medicines. Truly I have witnessed the shadow of God's hand and lo, He never fails those who put their trust in Him!

For six months in a row, starting from September 2009, as my health dwindled and I experienced a touching spinal cord, multiple bulging disks in my entire spine, I wondered what God was trying to tell me. I asked God that He speak to me as I read the Holy Word day after day and as I prayed lying on my bed. Those were the times, I went on a higher plane with Jesus. I urged Christ to help me rise over my body, situation and struggle. When my body wouldn't let me stand up, I was able to walk within my living room praying for the people affected by the earthquake in Haiti. After hours of praying, I usually fell asleep with a great relief in my Spirit. This is when I learned that prayer is the state of Spirit that transcends the human body. Yes there is a super-natural power in the intercessory prayers. Never once do I want to stop interceding knowing that Christ is continually interceding for our sakes (Romans 8:34).  Lord make it so!

One sunny morning in October 2010, I woke up with what felt like pointed needles all over my head. I tried to pinpoint the exact locations where I felt the sting. I wasn't sure if I had blisters but I could find none. As I desperately struggled to figure out what was happening, I knelt down praying, "Father, if it is your will, take off this needles from my head." I continued to work through the day, as agony wedded fatigue by the fag end of the day. That evening, my wonderful husband read Psalm 103. I tugged with God on the very first verse, "Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name." After a few minutes, I eased up and asked God to show me a way to bless His holy name with all that is within me that is with all my struggle and fatigue. In no time, right where I lay on my bed, I began to lift up my voice singing praises to the Majestic Ruler of the Universe. If not through this experience, I'd not have learned or known what it means to bless His holy name with all that is within me. The next few days, I was treated for severe brain inflammation.

Praise God for His never-ending touch of grace in all our lives!